Concert Etiquette

To Whom It May Concern,
Sir, I believe you are drunk. Yes, it may be the end of the year and are well enclined to do what you choose in these times of intoxicating (in more ways than one) freedom, but please pay attention to the Etiquette and manners that are unspoken in times of being in a crowd, namely Moshing.

1. If you wish to get to the front of the crowd, doing the following is not acceptable:

• Forcing your way through holding a cigarette,
• Forcing your way through holding a precarious looking plastic pintglass of something that may just be pee. However, since Murphy Law states that you never, see someone filling up a bottle with their pee in a concert setting, it could just well be Carling.

Pouring a drink down a girls's top and nearly burning them with your cigarette does not make you sexy, shows you up to be a moron and wins you no friends.

2. As hard as it is to believe, Moshing requires you to jump about with a lot of people in a small space. On average you could probably fit 30 moshers into the area the size of a toilet cubicle. Therefore, if someone says that they can not move forward due to the sheer mass of drunk, squashed people in front of them, it would do them best to believe them and try and make your way to the front of the moshing another way. They say that you should never underestimate the stupidity of men in groups-how about the stupidity of a man who thinks that they can defy the laws of physics and ran their way to a front like a snow plough with a drink in hand? As well as pouring your drink down your writer's top, you will have her praying that it wasn't pee in that cup. Ramming will result in everyone getting thrown forwards, crushing the legs of the ones in front and again will win you no friends.

Not apologising for sending your fellow moshers-or moshettes-flying as you try to re-enact the parting of the Red Sea is just plain rude.

3. Try and figure out why you are so desperate to get to the front. If you are there to see your favourite band in the entire world, then there is justification in trying to get to the front. If you are watching a decent tribute act but with a frontman that looks like Freddie Mercury if he ate all the pies, then why do you care about getting to the front? No-one will say that your moment of jumping onto the stage with a Tribute Act was the highlight of your evening.

4. There is a reason why people in a crowd will dance with their hands in the air. Okay, it may result in your BO being smelt by all and sundry, but that way more people can see the act and crowd in together. No-one wants to see your breakdancing, so do not dance by ramming your elbows into the back of the people behind you.

5. Do not scream/squeal if you are next to someone's ear.

6. Think before you stage dive and try to ride on top of the crowd. Jumping off the stage on to the top of a girl who is about 5' 2" and breaking her nose will ruin the concert for her.

Admittedly, at the gig I went to, 6 did not happen, but I was amazed at how many people wanted to act like idiots just to hear a tribute act sing 'One Vision' by Queen.

PC Brigade

So, okay, it has been pointed out to me that my view on iD cards are worng, and this I accept. I guess it's because I still think the best of people, and think that ID cards won't change anything. Then again, there is a solid difference between what I think should happen and what the rest of the World does.

For example, my mind believes that Common Sense is pretty common. However, working with the General Public has disproved that one...



What I wanted to do was start this post a couple of days so I could use the news sources to back it up, but keeping up House and reading up on mines kept on getting in the way. I had thought up something once I had read that Bernard Manning had died. Bernard Manning can be best described through this article on Wikipedia -http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Bernard_Manning. I would by lying if I said that I thought this guy was funny. If anything, I found his content distasteful with all of its 'traditional' terms for racial groups and his Sexist jokes about Women. He may have been a nce guy-he was well known for his charity work-but I pesonally would never have sat through any of his stuff willingly.

Now, if I had gotten round to writing this there would have been a link to the discussion on Bernard Manning from the BBC News 'Have Your Say' element of the website. Most of the opinions that feature usually range from the liberal bias to the downright loopy-as-a-fruitbat right wingers who are convinced that nothing good in Britain has been achieved since Maragaret Thatcher left office in 1990. Anyway, they had a discussion on Bernard Manning, and it made me laugh and cringe. As well as the 'I find him funny and I have lots of different friends' comments (to which I say 'why do you need to state this?'), there were continual references to the 'PC Brigade' that was in someway destroying the country. Like there was a secret army of people who only come out at night and deliberetly make life hard by, say, hiding your soap. Does it involve uniforms and sashes or something? If so, can I join?

Maypole Dancer's Support Group

Near us over the weekend was a Fete in a small village near us. Because taking a Saturday off work is a novelty to me thanks to work, I tagged along. It was only once we were in a car that I realised I hadn't been to one in years. Even then, I had only really been to the same one so I couldn't call myself an authority on them, but I liked the idea of visiting one, as I used to run riot at them as a kid.

A Fete, in case you don't know, is one of those traditional English things that is likely never to disappear as long as people live in the countryside and people feel nostalgic. There are stalls full of Cakes and Booze, usually surrounding and facing inwards towards a village green. There are traditional games-skittles usually-a beer tent, some tea stalls and a raffle which looks like all of the best bits from a harvest festival on a very small table.

Needless to say, this one was very traditional and was therefore very good. It had loads of plants and jams and we ended up drinking tea out of Ancient WI mugs. What amazed me though was the Maypole.

The Maypole I danced around must have the bane of my Primary School Teacher's life. For at least a month we had it set up in a playgorund and we would spend an hour dancing around it hand in hand in a giant circle. The songs we had to dance all sounded like sailor's hornpipes and I spent most of the time standing in the middle, as at least four of us helped to balance it on each side/hold the ribbons. I can remember it being a very old white plank that seemed enormous to me-like the size of a 2 storey house. The ropes were old and faded and I can remember that at least once or twice it actually broke during the performance.

It occured to me that apart from other family members, Morris dances I have had to sit through (just how did the Scottish get the fun dances, the Irish get the money making dancing and the English end up with men with bells, beards and hitting planks of wood together?), seeing the little kids at this Fete was the only other example of the dances I have seen. I was suprised-the pole seemed tiny compared to what I can remember dancing around.

And now on an unrelated note-Just how cool is the Master on the new Doctor Who?!

Angelina Jolie and all that Jazz

Since the last time I updated this lovely blog, I have done the following:

*Knitted a Duck. Only recently I learnt how to knit from my friend Beck.
Relaxing hobby my arse-at first I could barely hold the needles and spent most of my time trying to act reserved when I previously screaming at balls of yarn. There was some knack to it that I couldn't understand-I would watch Beck knit and couldn't figure out how she could do it so fast or stay relaxed as she did so while I ended up with a bit of wool not unlike a slug with holes in.
I stuck at it as I like talking to Beck-previously I didn't see her very often-and it was something that I really wanted to do. Learning to knit is one of those skills that I knew could come in useful one day, plus I have always had a secret admiration for people who can make stuff with their hands. In truth, I wanted to be one of those people. There is also the fact that I am a constant fidgeter-I always need to be at least planning to do something-and the idea of just doing continual motions and creating something out of nothing sort of rocks in its own way.
One day, I believe after I had studied Abraham Lincoln or at least something to do with America, the knitting clicked and I found myself making stuff that I felt proud of. Okay, so the phone covers I have made so far do not look exactly like any convential phone covers (and I am developing hard skin by my nails because of the continual poking of the steel needles) but finally finishing the stuff I have been making this term was my biggest accomplishments. I am stupidly proud of my duck in much the same manner that people would design really ornate cover sheets for science projects during my GCSEs.
Apart from the said exams I nearly burnt myself out getting through.
Thus I might turn this blog into a sort of knitting blog, so I can at least put pictures up of what I have made so far.

*Become Green. Maybe its the constant advertising by evil conglominates (I don't care about the spelling right now as I'm knackered) or the fact that I have been more smoothies to stave of the ever present threat of Student related scurvy, but I have suddenly become interested in Environmentalism. This is not to say that I have led a life up to this moment in pure bliss and ignorance about the effect of rubbish, but it is a reaction to what I see as the implausibility of some of the stuff we are expected to do. I'm going to see if I can make some changes to my habits and maybe write about them on here, but only if they become interesting. I'm not going to write about a neurose for recycling if it doesn't involve a wacky adventure of somekind.

*Laughed at Celebrities. Hence the mention of Angelina Jolie.

*Seriously considered wearing a skirt in this humid heat.

*Watched Pirates of the Carribbean 3. I enjoyed it more than I thought I would, but then I had been to the pub. I got annoyed by the singing kid at the beginning wearing braces and it was near incomprehensible, but I would pay Johnny Depp to run like Jack Sparrow in all of his movies.

*Finished exams. It feels strange to have a to-do list that begins with 'get out of bed before noon' instead of a list of work to be getting on with. I'm enjoying it while it lasts.

Y'see, I can do less ranty.

Annoyed

I'm trying to work what has pissed me off more today. It is either the fact that the milk that I brought from a shop today had gone off so badly it had gone fizzy that I have no chance of being able to bring back as they will deny I brought it there without a receipt (because it's milk!), or people who don't say 'please' or 'thank you'. Thinking about it, the second one has pissed me off slightly more, as I think it is common courtesy to actually recognise that someone has done you a favour. I only spent 69p on the milk, and I could probably turn it into some kind of lovely metaphor for what I think about that certain institution if I felt like it. Then again, it is 69p that I could have spent on... oh, how about fresh milk!
I think this week is going slower because of the exams and the grey skies in May. Oh well, it feels like I have extra time to revise and knit.

Ideological preference.

Okay, so I have a blog. I look around at other blogs, and try to wonder how they have so much to say about the world, when all I do is eat, read and sleep in that particular order. I'm guessing that because I am a number of people who start this kinda thing and then wonder why, after a couple of months, I bothered. And so I am now going to use this underrated social platform (for me that is) to describe stuff I actually care about.

So, in no particular order.

1. The other day I saw a 50 second clip of the new Michael Moore movie on American health care on You-Tube. I have to admit, I find it bizarre that a country like the USA does not have a system designed to provide some kind of standardised health care for all.

Now, I am fully prepared to hold up my hands and state that I have not seen the film and feel like ranting at Michael Moore because he annoys me. I thought that Bowling for Columbine was very interesting, but the failing of Fahrenheit 911 was that it had no basis on facts. The fact was, everything in it was based on an idea you could write on the back of a napkin. If you weren't willing to buy into his ideas, then you ended up like me; feeling that it was a shallow idea that only gained any form of logic because of the wars that followed it.

The problem I had with this 50 second clip of the new movie was his insistence that hospital treatment for the Brits is free. This is not true due to tax, Mr Moore. I also admire the way you seemed to pick a particularly quiet hospital in the clip. Again, maybe I should watch the entire thing, but considering his insistence that everything in hospitals is 'free'-I can't help but wonder if he will give the subject any kind of bias.

2. I saw 'Look Around You' the other day (the first series before they tried that ill-advised version of Tomorrow's World), and think the British comedy scene is doing really well at the moment. I'm hoping to watch more Peep Show and Mock the Week soon, as the humour is very unpredictable. That's what I love-jokes where you can't see a punchline coming.

3. I played my first game of chess where I can claim at least 45%of a victory in chess. I played two games this evening-the first one wasn't terribly exciting, but the second was interesting as it was described to me as we played. The problem I have with chess is that I do not see the 'paths' of the chess pieces on the board. I just see areas where pieces should go as it gives them a bit of 'space', instead of thinking of ways of attacking and defending the pieces with the most points. I sincerely doubt I will ever win a game under my own steam just yet, but the way I see it Chess is a discipline. You have to learn how to concentrate and look at the board while planning ahead, which isn't something you have to do with knitting.

Ah, knitting. I never thought I would ever say I like it as much I do. At first, it was a struggle to even hold the needles, but once I got it and saw how quickly I could knit I was hooked (haha!). I think it is because it is relaxing for me to do something repetitive without concentrating too hard, but also because it is surprisingly sociable. Chatting and knitting is rather like riding a bike (but admittedly I do not get a lot done if I am talking)I'm tempted to turn this into a knitting blog in a way, so I can tell people what I have made. I finished a phone holder today, and I have to admit that it has turned out a lot better than I expected it to be.

4. I have nothing against ID cards. I can honestly say that as I believe that my government isn't that interested in the everyday life of everyone, and if it means I can go out somewhere without having to prove my ID-say, when I go into a bar-then I don't have problem with it. Also, you have to remember that the system won't work yet does have its practical advantages. I don't believe the bull crap about them preventing crime ('Hey, you! Biometrically scan your eyeballs before you rob this bank!'), but say if you wanted to travel abroad. You already use your driving licence to prove your identity, how about having a system where your ID card was used instead of your passport? Passports are nice and official looking, but wouldn't it just be nice to swipe your card to enter a country?
While I state this, I know there might be a reader or summat who will scream at me for naively trusting the Government, and I don't. I just refuse to wipe of the idea just because of the potential of an Orwellian state we should refusing the idea. To set up an Orwellian state, you have to assume that your Government doesn't trust anyone and that people can't think for themselves. Just because you might get an extra card in your wallet (or maybe even something onto your driving licence as I suggested) doesn't mean the government is out to get you. In the 'Orwellian' argument, people seem to think that the card means that people won't use your common sense, and you will have to show it everywhere you go. They also assume that the government will bother to do millions of background checks, which I refuse to believe.
'But what about the GDR?' someone says. The GDR was a closed Communist State of about 18 million people (according to something I read earlier on boingboing.net). No-one can ever be sure because of the amount of paperwork destroyed, but they reckon that they had at least 1 in 7 people informing to the government. Firstly, as much as everyone is scared of the world we are not in that society by any way shape or form so don't compare it to it. We have CCTV, but does anyone remember the original reason why they came in?

There is always a danger of looking back through history to some mythical age where we had more freedom. However, in our past we were also more likely to die of horrible illnesses and force children to work for food. We are not losing our freedoms and should be thankful for it.
I can write this, therefore I am free. Ipso facto.

5. Call me cynical, maybe I am. I just like to think of ideas instead of hearing about a perceived threat and thinking it signals the end. In spite of everything, I am a cynical optimist, I believe everything should go right eventually. I'm not cynical about everything-I'm not cynical about Global Warming (though my 'cute animals' theory of environmentalism wonders what animal will be concentrated on next) and believe in recycling to state just two things. I just believe that you should be able to figure things out for yourself.

So, now I'm going to bed. Maybe one day I will write about funnier things, and feel less ranty. Goodnight.

Jumping through hoops

I realise I said I would update this when I got back, and I never did. I will someday though. One day I will go into massive detail about what I have been up to.
I'd sum it up better, but I'm suprisingly tired and my brain cannot think in more than short sentences or descriptive catchphrases. Saying that though, I think I can sum up the Americans, by saying that for politeness and sheer cheeryness, Americans are great.
Leaving Jesse was very hard, but that isn't to say I had a great holiday. Everytime I think about it, a big grin develops all over my face. However, I got back to the UK having no sleep on the plane, and then remained jetlagged until at least the wednesday, before going back to University on the Friday. It was a bit of a rush I guess, but I shall head home after my exams to make up for it.
In some ways I am lucky this term-only 4 exams to deal with, and then at least 3 weeks of pure relaxation before the summer, but even then I'm stressed out by them. I think, once again, it is because of the unknown nature of them-I hate the feeling of jumping through hoops to maintain a grade. The idea that 2 essays and an exam prove your entire year is an un-nerving thought. Either way, it could be worse.